We’ve all been there: hurt, frustrated, straight-up pissed off or completely enraged. Someone did something to you and you want karma to do its thing so badly, because extracting even an iota of vengeful satisfaction against the person / thing that wronged you is likely to land you with a prison term that’ll last far longer than the rush that comes with sustaining the balance. It is, however, not your place. There are roles in the tenet I’ve adopted that I’d like to share, one that’s offered me such peace of mind that instead of looking back, even through life’s rear-view mirror, I keep my eyes glued to the road ahead.

But first, Mario Kart. Have you played it? It’s a cartoonish racing game full of beloved Nintendo characters ripping around ridiculous tracks flinging crazy weapons at each other at a breakneck pace. If you have, then you know that only the last lap is really what counts, and especially those last three turns before the finish line. The chaotic nature of the game really boils the game down to fifty percent luck, and fifty percent skill, the former of which you can’t do jack shit about, the latter of which is all on you.

It’s like life a lot in those ways; you’re nailing it, making every drift count, hugging corners and slamming mushrooms on the straightaways and second place is a distant cluster of pixels behind you. You cannot be stopped. You will not be beaten. And then you hear it coming – that motherfucker item, that no matter where it’s shot from is screaming up the track to ream whoever is in first place. To those in the know, it’s the game’s embodiment of (almost) certain doom, known as the Blue Shell and its real life’s equivalent to ‘shit happens’. The Blue Shell represents everything in life that comes along and blindsides us making things go from good to bad, or bad to worse. In the real world, this is the drunk drivers, the cancers, the random slips down the stairs, the unexpected we have no control over and can only pick up the pieces from after.

Next, there are the other racers, also known as the competition. In a game it’s simple: everyone wants to finish first, but in real life it gets a little more complicated, for some fucked up reason. See, even if someone wants something completely different than you, chances are they still want to do better in their thing than you will in your thing. Stupid, right? But we’ve all seen it a thousand times before. Even close friends, or family will find some way to talk shit behind your back or, in some cases, find the nerve to actually undermine you. And why? Because you’re shining where you belong, and even though they could be doing well or even outshining you, well, honestly, does it even matter?

In Mario Kart, most weapons are launched forward to spin out someone ahead of you, or shot backwards to tangle up the players behind you. But there’s a third option. An option that’s upped my average ranking per game and that choice is to hold the item behind me. See, when you hold the item behind you, it shields you from at least a shot from the rear and wastes an effort to cut you down, or ‘bring you down to their level’. The aggressor is banking on the fifty percent luck that he won’t be shot down while you’re hedging on the half of the game that’s skill. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not super competitive and fun is the name of the game for me, but if I want to rank, this is how I do it personally. Most times I’m the fucker launching shells up the track all to satiate my thirst for virtual carnage. But that’s in a game, not real life.

I’ve found that, not burying, but ignoring all my sick vendettas and grudges has had a profound effect on my life. Focusing more on ‘not fucking up’ as opposed to reveling in the misfortune of those who’ve crossed me has set me back on the right track. It’s like holding the shell behind me and focusing on the turns ahead, instead of checking to see who’s drafting up the rear or even watching the competition get spun out by a massive shit show happening in the mid-ranks. I don’t even look. I don’t even laugh. And I especially don’t give them the ‘I told you so’ some come to me for as their last resort to scrape together as a participation trophy. Do you know why? Because this isn’t Mario Kart, it’s real life, and in real life, there’s no winner, but there are ton of losers!